I have noticed lately that I have a habit of taking a choice or an expectation and turning it into a mandate.
My school day is supposed to start at 7:15am. That is when my principal expects me in the building, getting to work. I like to get there at 7 instead, because my first responsibility is at 7:30 and I can get more done in 30 minutes than 15. While this was a choice at the beginning of the year, over time it has become a mandate in my own mind. If I'm not at school at 7, I feel "late."
I have chosen to make putting new books in the library a priority. I can't move books into the library fast enough for my students. My principal has not told me I have to do this. She has not given me a quota of new books to process. It has been my choice, but in my head it has become a requirement. If I am not working on some aspect of new book processing (it is 8 step process for each book) each week, it feels like I have failed in some way.
I haven't quite figured out yet how to adjust my expectations to something reasonable - it is a problem I have in other areas of my life. I start a creative gift and kill myself to get it done in time. I take on a major cleaning overhaul in an effort to feel like I have control over something in my life, but I get bored 2/3 of the way through because I took on something too huge. I guess there are worse faults to have, but it frustrates me nonetheless. I hope, as I get older and wiser, I will get a better grasp on my expectations of myself.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
SAVOR: The Little Things
Staying up late to read a book from start to finish.
The first taste of chocolate after a long break.
Hugging my son while we sing worship songs at church.
Watching my son play in the worship team at school.
Holding my husband's hand as we drive somewhere.
A leisurely reading of a magazine.
The anticipation of a new book.
Holding that new book in my hands for the first time.
Re-reading a treasured favorite.
A hug from a student.
A student raving about the book he/she just finished.
A hearty laugh with friends.
A new journal and a good pen.
The first taste of chocolate after a long break.
Hugging my son while we sing worship songs at church.
Watching my son play in the worship team at school.
Holding my husband's hand as we drive somewhere.
A leisurely reading of a magazine.
The anticipation of a new book.
Holding that new book in my hands for the first time.
Re-reading a treasured favorite.
A hug from a student.
A student raving about the book he/she just finished.
A hearty laugh with friends.
A new journal and a good pen.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Do You Understand the Words that Are Coming Out of My Mouth?
These are some of the things I hear myself saying at school:
Real food first (I am both a librarian and a lunch lady)
Please sit on your backside
Good Morning!
Ladies and Gentlemen!
It is time for silent reading. If you are in line to check out, you should also be silent.
Nonfiction means numbers (for shelving in a library)
Fiction is fake (as opposed to nonfiction, which is fact)
Like people, not all books have an appendix
Chew, swallow, then talk
No, there is no quiz for Genius Files #2 yet
No, I don't have that book prepared for the library yet
No, that book is already checked out
K for Kinney (in answer to, "Do you have any Wimpy Kid books in")
That's a great story. I really liked that one.
Real food first (I am both a librarian and a lunch lady)
Please sit on your backside
Good Morning!
Ladies and Gentlemen!
It is time for silent reading. If you are in line to check out, you should also be silent.
Nonfiction means numbers (for shelving in a library)
Fiction is fake (as opposed to nonfiction, which is fact)
Like people, not all books have an appendix
Chew, swallow, then talk
No, there is no quiz for Genius Files #2 yet
No, I don't have that book prepared for the library yet
No, that book is already checked out
K for Kinney (in answer to, "Do you have any Wimpy Kid books in")
That's a great story. I really liked that one.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
New Respect for Teachers
I grew up the daughter of a public school teacher, and I loved it. My dad was a popular teacher in his high school and I loved being at school with him. What he did always looked so fun.
I don't remember him talking much about the tasks of teaching - the lesson planning, the grading, etc. I do remember when his school was switching to block scheduling and he was talking to teachers who already worked with that schedule to help him make the transition smoothly. I remember that he taught most summers in order to contribute extra money to the household budget and to help send me to college.
You hear a lot of complaints and controversy about teaching these days. Students are struggling and the country is looking for someone to blame. As teachers play such a significant role in the educational lives of students, they are the obvious target, even though there are many other factors - parents, home life, hunger, skill deficits, learning disabilities, etc. The schedule sounds cushy - summers off, holiday breaks. We forget the hours spent outside of the school day researching new ideas; grading papers; meeting with administrators, parents and colleagues; brainstorming how to help struggling students; planning differentiated lessons for a class of 25 students at varying levels of skill; etc.
This is my first year teaching an almost full time schedule, and I have to tell you, I am exhausted. Even with the long weekends here and there and the holiday breaks, I am worn out. Since this is my first year, my lesson planning is largely from scratch. My compulsion for buying and providing new reading material for our school (to the joy of my students) means a lot of my Christmas break and many weekends are spent preparing books for library-level usage. I see my colleagues working day after day to make a difference in the lives of their students. They stay late and come in early. They research and share ideas with one another. They throw themselves wholeheartedly into special programs designed to augment the curriculum and help their students. I am anticipating the summer break, not to rest and play for a couple months, but in order to do all the things I can't get done during the course of the regular school day.
I have a new respect for teachers who pour themselves into their calling and into the lives of their students day after day and year after year. If you have school-aged children, consider today how you can encourage their teachers - classroom and non-classroom - this spring. I'm sure they could use it.
I don't remember him talking much about the tasks of teaching - the lesson planning, the grading, etc. I do remember when his school was switching to block scheduling and he was talking to teachers who already worked with that schedule to help him make the transition smoothly. I remember that he taught most summers in order to contribute extra money to the household budget and to help send me to college.
You hear a lot of complaints and controversy about teaching these days. Students are struggling and the country is looking for someone to blame. As teachers play such a significant role in the educational lives of students, they are the obvious target, even though there are many other factors - parents, home life, hunger, skill deficits, learning disabilities, etc. The schedule sounds cushy - summers off, holiday breaks. We forget the hours spent outside of the school day researching new ideas; grading papers; meeting with administrators, parents and colleagues; brainstorming how to help struggling students; planning differentiated lessons for a class of 25 students at varying levels of skill; etc.
This is my first year teaching an almost full time schedule, and I have to tell you, I am exhausted. Even with the long weekends here and there and the holiday breaks, I am worn out. Since this is my first year, my lesson planning is largely from scratch. My compulsion for buying and providing new reading material for our school (to the joy of my students) means a lot of my Christmas break and many weekends are spent preparing books for library-level usage. I see my colleagues working day after day to make a difference in the lives of their students. They stay late and come in early. They research and share ideas with one another. They throw themselves wholeheartedly into special programs designed to augment the curriculum and help their students. I am anticipating the summer break, not to rest and play for a couple months, but in order to do all the things I can't get done during the course of the regular school day.
I have a new respect for teachers who pour themselves into their calling and into the lives of their students day after day and year after year. If you have school-aged children, consider today how you can encourage their teachers - classroom and non-classroom - this spring. I'm sure they could use it.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
SAVOR: Cribbage
I remember teacher work days when I would go to school with my dad while he kicked off or wrapped up a school year and I would play cribbage with him and the other teachers in the Teacher's Lounge. Dad even taught me to play cribbage solitaire so I could play any time.
When I was home last year, taking care of Dad while hospice was finding him a bed, we played two games one afternoon when he was pretty "with it." He needed a little help with the counting, but it was a semi-normal sort of moment and I have clung to it over and over in the last year.
Cribbage will always be a Dad thing. He taught me to play and one of the last positive memories I have of him is of the games we played that Wednesday afternoon together. Definitely something to SAVOR.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Learning through Lent
This year our family decided to celebrate Lent together by giving up sweets. My son, did not get a vote in the matter. It made since to do this together so no one would be tempting the others.
The thing I did not count on was how often food - sweets in particular - are used as rewards and celebrations at school. Saying "no thank you" to those rewards and birthday parties is a lot to ask of a third grader. We have had to make multiple accommodations to work school life and Lent together.
If I had to do it all over again, I think we would do things differently, but we made a commitment and we are muscling through the best we can.
The thing I did not count on was how often food - sweets in particular - are used as rewards and celebrations at school. Saying "no thank you" to those rewards and birthday parties is a lot to ask of a third grader. We have had to make multiple accommodations to work school life and Lent together.
If I had to do it all over again, I think we would do things differently, but we made a commitment and we are muscling through the best we can.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Jesus Wept
Our pastor spoke on John 11 recently - the story of the death and resurrection of Lazarus. If you regularly read my blog, you might remember that he preached on Lazarus last spring and I posted about it. This time, I was caught by a verse I have heard over and over and over but had never given much thought.
Most students know that the shortest verse of the Bible is John 11:35 - Jesus wept. Before this Sunday, though, I had never looked at it in context. Jesus knew Lazarus was sick, but chose to wait a couple days before coming. He has endured the questions from Martha and then again from Mary about his delay - "If you had been here...." He knows there is a larger plan in motion. Still, he weeps.
Why? He knew the end of the grief was moments away. He knew there would be great rejoicing and celebration soon.
Was he empathizing with Mary and Martha, and the crowd of mourners, caught up in the emotion of the moment?
Was it from exhaustion and the emotional toll of waiting and enduring the questions and grief of others?
Was it from the knowledge that the greater plan - the waiting - while necessary had brought pain to a family he loved?
In the grief of the last year, I have struggled sometimes to figure out how to relate to God - to One who had the power to change the course of last year but chose to have things play out the way they did. There were plenty of moments when I had to choose to trust that God cared and was at work, even if I wasn't sure how to feel about Him. In this two word verse, I have a different picture in my mind of how things might have been playing out in Heaven as we walked through the last year. Perhaps Jesus wept with us, knowing that this was what was going to happen, but grieving with us over the pain we were going to and had been experiencing.
Most students know that the shortest verse of the Bible is John 11:35 - Jesus wept. Before this Sunday, though, I had never looked at it in context. Jesus knew Lazarus was sick, but chose to wait a couple days before coming. He has endured the questions from Martha and then again from Mary about his delay - "If you had been here...." He knows there is a larger plan in motion. Still, he weeps.
Why? He knew the end of the grief was moments away. He knew there would be great rejoicing and celebration soon.
Was he empathizing with Mary and Martha, and the crowd of mourners, caught up in the emotion of the moment?
Was it from exhaustion and the emotional toll of waiting and enduring the questions and grief of others?
Was it from the knowledge that the greater plan - the waiting - while necessary had brought pain to a family he loved?
In the grief of the last year, I have struggled sometimes to figure out how to relate to God - to One who had the power to change the course of last year but chose to have things play out the way they did. There were plenty of moments when I had to choose to trust that God cared and was at work, even if I wasn't sure how to feel about Him. In this two word verse, I have a different picture in my mind of how things might have been playing out in Heaven as we walked through the last year. Perhaps Jesus wept with us, knowing that this was what was going to happen, but grieving with us over the pain we were going to and had been experiencing.
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