The End Is Here

School is done.

There were moments in March when I thought this day would never come. This was a hard year. For me, I think it was hard on one level because I manically plowed through my first year - this year I was trying to be more intentional and thoughtful about what I was doing (although I am still manically buying new books for the library). It made the year go more slowly, which in the long run will be good, but it made the year hard.

On top of that, we've gone through some leadership changes and there seemed to be a lot of things going on under the happy facade that had to be dealt with. And that has been difficult and, at times, divisive. I've asked some of the folks who have been there longer than I have, and they agree that this year has been especially hard. The students checked out earlier than usual (could be the difficulties we had with our standardized testing this spring), had more attitude, and made some crazy behavior choices.

But here we are. The year has ended. We are still transitioning to new leadership, but I am optimistic for the positive things that can come next year. I have the best of intentions to NOT work this summer. I am hoping to be finished with all my school tasks by tomorrow and then to disappear for the most part until August. (I think I will still try to bring home books to process for the library, but I don't know. We'll see.)

Anyway, I am reminded that time marches on - in the good or the bad, all I can do is just keep pressing forward and doing the best I can.

Loaves and Fishes

I was in a funk this weekend. I was not looking forward to heading back to school on Monday. Last week felt like one long fight with students. I'm tired. It's May, which is fraught with emotional ups and downs. I really just wanted to stay in bed with a pile of books.

We had a rare 10 minutes to kill before heading to church on Sunday, so I sat down with my journal to get my thoughts on paper. When I had rambled on for a few paragraphs, I went back to the start of the journal and skimmed through it and found a treasure.

Earlier this year I was doing really well about faithfully completing a Bible in One Year app written by Nicky and Pippa Gumbel (@NickyGumbel, @PippaGumbel). In a commentary about a New Testament passage where Jesus takes just a little food and feeds thousands, the Gumbel's wrote this:

"I take great comfort in this: Jesus can do a lot with a little. If we offer to Jesus the little we have, he can multiply it and meet the needs of all the people."

Oh, I needed to be reminded of this. I have four more weeks of school to go in this school year, and I want to finish well and finish strong. But I feel like I have so little left to give - little patience for the daily struggle with students to keep them moving forward toward the end of the year, little creativity, little energy. I need Jesus to take this little bit that I have left and multiply it to be all I need - and all He needs - it to be for the work that still needs to be done this year.

Bulletin Boards

Last year I felt like one of my (many) areas for growth in my job was the planning and use of bulletin boards. In fact, I can't really remember what I did with my bulletin board space for most of last year.

This year I have tried to be more intentional. I planned one to start the school year, and I figured out that if I keep the first one up until the end of September, then do a fall one for October and November and a winter one for December and January, I can avoid having to change my bulletin board during my busy seasons, like book fair and Christmas break. I haven't quite decided what to do for second semester, but here are the three from this year so far. I've painted on my bulletin boards twice this year, and I liked the result, although it is a little scary because if it turns out crummy I have to pull the whole thing down and start from scratch. So far I haven't had to do that (Phew!).

"A-B-Sea Read with Me"

"Fall into a Good Book"

[After I took this picture, I added some laminated pictures of book covers and had them leaning on the tree and on the pumpkins.]

"Reading in a Winter Wonderland"

Lesson Plans

Many (many) years ago, when my husband and I taught upper elementary and middle school Sunday school, I enjoyed lesson planning. I had a theme or plan for the year (Women in the Bible or Children in the Bible) and I had theme verses I wanted students to focus on. I loved plotting out the lessons, writing out my thoughts and observations on the scripture passages. I loved teaching the material and interacting with my students over it.

I am typing this post after over 2.5 hours of lesson planning for school. I am not yet experiencing the same joy I used to feel.

I teach 17 classes a week to kids in 7 grades. So I am "only" planning 7 lessons a week - far fewer than my dear colleagues who teach that many lessons in one day. And my lessons have to be short enough to fit in a 40 minute period where I need to check in returned books and check out new books for anywhere from 10 to 25 students in a group as well as teach the lesson. Right now, I am just trying to plot out all of the library orientation material I need to cover depending on the age and skill level of the group. I'm having a hard time even remembering what all I taught last year.

My main challenges are

• My preference to plan a full week at a time. My first day of teaching classes was a Thursday. I have 4 classes on Thursday and 4 on Friday, so about half of my load. But in those two days, I taught two of my fifth grade classes. I didn't see the other one until Wednesday of the following week. So, during the first full week of classes, I spent three days (nine classes) covering our orientation material and two days (eight classes) covering Week 2 material (the always thrilling discussion of shelf markers!). After two full weeks of classes, we have a Monday off for Labor Day. It will take me about a month of classes to arrange the material so that the three fourth grade classes (which meet Monday, Wednesday and Friday) are all on the same lesson in the same calendar week. This problem continues throughout the year thanks to breaks and school events and book fair, etc. I've already plotted out the dates of meetings through December so I can see where my partial weeks are and try to plan around them.
• Planning developmentally appropriate lessons. I am still learning what books and what concepts work with which ages. Two years in a row now, I have read Is Your Buffalo Ready for Kindergarten? to my kindergarten students and both times it has completely bombed. I finally got smart and started keeping a file of books I am using, what lessons I do with them, and when they work and don't work.
• Planning lessons that prepare kids for more than just finding a book in the non-fiction section of any library. Library usage skills are important to me. Not only do they minimize the cyclone-like appearance of the library when a class leaves, but I believe they are skills necessary for life-long learning. But I want my students to leave with so much more - a love of reading, an appreciation for the impact a well-written story or well-developed character can have on your heart and mind, an understanding of the world that can come from digging into a well-written non-fiction book, a new depth of understanding of Scripture that can come when you know how to read for understanding.
• The overabundance of material available to me. I almost have too many choices as far as lesson material. I have the things I did last year (some of which worked and some didn't). I have fun things I have found online from other teachers. I have a file cabinet full of material from my predecessor that I haven't even had time to open. I have shelves of library magazines full of lesson ideas. 
• The pressure of having to develop a scope and sequence by October. I knew this time last year that I had to put together a scope and sequence of lessons for each grade level by this October. I had every intention of doing it this summer, but it didn't happen. In part, that is because of the other library projects I was doing instead. But honestly, part of it is because I hate having to commit to a scope and sequence this early in my librarian/teacher journey. I have so much to learn. I have so much material (see previous bullet point). I'm afraid the minute I submit this curriculum plan I'm going to hate it and want to do something completely different (or I'm going to try to implement it and find it's a complete flop)!

What's sad is that I realize this 150 minutes I just spent was really just for formatting an outline of what I'm going to do on certain days - and I haven't even finished all of September yet - not even planning the exact lessons.

*Sigh*

I am expecting to feel a lot better about the manageability of my teaching life by October. I haven't lost the hope of someday being able to leave school at 3:15 again!