If Only ONE

In my last two posts I have talked about how I've been fighting anxiety this summer, and last time I shared about two techniques that I tried that seem to be helping. I'm also trying one other thing that could be a key to a variety of emotional strains - the anxiety, frequent feelings of being overwhelmed, setting unrealistic expectations and disappointment when I can't meet those expectations.

I am trying to focus on ONE - one thing at a time. I have so many passions and projects and ideas and interests, I can easily be paralyzed by so many choices. Not only am I wondering what I should do next - work or read or crafts - but then there are the myriad of choices within each choice. It's ridiculous.

It would be easy to say that I should just NOT be that person, but it is too much a part of my pattern, a part of who I've been for a long time. It's hard to turn that part of me off.

So I started focusing on just the next choice. Not my next five books, but the ONE I'm going to read right now. I ask myself, "If I can only read one more book this summer (or month or whatever), what is the ONE I want to read?" When I want to be crafty, I ask "What is the ONE project that captures my interest right now?" rather than listing every option I have in the house over and over, wondering what to choose, until my crafting time has disappeared.

When this summer started, I had a list of books I was going to read. Even though I read over 100 books on my break from school, only a few items got crossed off my master list, leaving me feeling like I failed in some way. But if I focus on today and on ONE thing - the right-now thing - maybe I can step out from under the pressure I put on myself. Sure, I'll still make lists. They help me organize my thoughts and prioritize and not forget things. But hopefully I can then choose the ONE next thing and set the rest of the list aside for awhile.

Punching and Prayer

I've tried two things to help with my anxiety (see previous post) that seem to be working.

1) Punching - In Jon Acuff's book Start, he talks about "punching fear in the face." He advises writing down the things fear says to you when you think about or start trying to make changes in your life. Fear usually says things like, "That will never work" or "It's too late for you to make this change." After you've identified the fears, Jon says to refute them, in detail. So I tried that with my anxiety. Since I knew what I was worried about, I then asked myself:

"What's the worst that could possibly happen in this situation?"

"How likely is this worst case scenario?"

"What supports and resources do I have if the worst actually does happen?"

"What are my options?"

Each situation I applied this to started to seem less scary and more manageable.

2) Prayer - I found this resource about anxiety online. But instead of reading the verses over and over, I decided to write them out in my own words and direct them at my specific circumstances. I only got through two verses - both re-writing and also some drawing to go with my thoughts - but I felt SO much better. Just from those two verses. And every time I have gone back to re-read those two verses, I have felt affirmed and at peace.

Will my anxiety return?

YES. Worry is too much of a habit for me at this point.

But I feel more equipped today than I did a week ago to address my fears and anxiety so it does not grow to control and consume me.

The Countdown Continues

My Countdown to Spring Break Survival Kit continues to give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. This is crunch time. This is when life is ridiculously busy and when the days will barrel on with little break until Spring Break arrives.

The envelopes are losing a little of their umph on their own. Opening one has gotten to be a little "old hat." But the blessings inside have taken on increased importance. They feel like a message from the Lord and from myself every day. I take a picture of each day's message and post it on Facebook in case any one else is playing along. I find myself pulling that picture up on my phone several times a day to remind me of the message - a little encouragement for the moment or hours ahead.

I am very glad I did this. And I am glad I have kept each message and each envelope. I hope I won't need this level of encouragement for awhile, but I'm glad to know I have it available if I do!

       

Survival Kit Update

The survival kit is working! I enjoy re-reading each day's scripture or blessing as a reminder of positive ways to focus my mind each day. The tasks so far have been small but enjoyable - something else I look forward to every day. I look forward to getting up in the morning and opening my envelope - and sharing the picture on Facebook. I've had fun conversations with folks about the project - I might even make one for our school's auction later this spring.

So far this has been an entirely worthwhile investment of time, energy and a little bit of money - and it is making the incredibly busy days leading up to spring break a little more positive!