Secret

Question for the day: Tell about a time you did something in secret.


When my son and I were in Wisconsin taking care of my dad's house, we talked with friends about things we needed to do to thank people. I had a huge list of thank you notes that needed to be written, but I thought there might be folks who needed something MORE.


We realized that, while we wanted to thank Dad's friends for taking such great care of him over the last year (taking him to chemo and dr. appointments, visiting him at the house and in the hospital, etc.), they wouldn't let us do much for them.


So, my son and I went to the restaurant where these guys always meet for breakfast every Tuesday. We timed it so we got there early enough to already be eating when they arrived. We said hello, chatted, and then left with the check for their entire group. I wish I could have been there when they asked their server for the check and she told them it was already taken care of.


It was a great feeling!








So, have you ever done anything in secret?

It's time

Question of the day: Finish this statement - "It's time for me to start_________."

It's time for me to start getting my groove back. Things are piled around my house and I seem to be several steps behind all the time. I'd like to get back to a routine that feels right for us. I'd like to get into a flow where I have time for all the things that make me feel like me - reading, blogging, spending time online and time with family. I want to feel like my life is manageable again.

Now the question for me is how do I get there? I feel like I need a week of doing nothing to get on track (if not ahead). That's not going to happen for awhile.

I probably need to just spend a few days compiling a list of all the things that need to be done and then start scheduling each task. Little by little I can start reclaiming my life. I just have to get started with something.

So, how about you? What is it time for you to start?

First things

Question for the day: What's the first thing you think of when you wake up? Is that a good thing or something you want to change?


In general, my first thought is "Do I have time to hit the snooze or do I have to get up right now?" It's probably a sign that I need to get more sleep. 


My next thought usually has to do with "How much are my feet going to hurt when I stand up?" Standing in class all day has been killing my feet. I have finally found some shoes that actually feel good on my feet after a normal day, but I still have to undo the damage done those first few weeks.


I guess, all things considered, those are too bad, are they?








So, what do you think of first thing in the morning?

Three Things, part 2

Another journalling prompt asked me to pick three things - this time, three things that make a day better.


Here are my three:
1) Snuggling with my son. It won't be long before he's too big and/or decides he's too old to hang out with Mom. I want to soak up as much time being physically close to him before he outgrows that connection.


2) Reading. Losing myself in a book for awhile makes a day feel "right." I have so many books I want to read - and should read - I also feel some pressure to read and keep up, so the more I read, the better I feel about that.


3) Connecting with people. Tweeting things people connect with, making a comment on a blog or a Facebook post, a fun talk with my husband while we watch TV, lunch out with a friend. All of these things make me feel better about life.


4) Singing. Yeah, I know I was supposed to choose three, but I honestly feel better if I have some time each day to sing a little - really belt something out without worrying about anyone watching or listening.

Doubt and Insecurity

One post in the journalling series was about a new book that talks about doubt and insecurity. So the challenge was to journal about those things. This is what I wrote:






I read a great book by Kevin Lehman (the birth order guy) called What Your Childhood Memories Say About You. In it, he asks readers to finish the statement, "I feel I matter in life when...."


I jotted some ideas in the margin as ways I could answer that, but the one that really clicked was, "I feel I matter in life when I get things right."


My doubts and insecurities are directly related to that core of perfectionism. When I make a mistake, I berate myself, kicking myself over and over about how I goofed. When I'm in a situation where I'm in over my head, I second guess the decisions that led me there. I think longingly of the last place I was where I felt like I knew what I was doing. I hate feeling incompetent.


Several years ago, when I was working daily with recovering addicts who were also mentally ill, I did a session with my clients where I played a Steven Curtis Chapman song called, "Burn the Ships." The chorus and bridge say


Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn
Nobody said it would be easy
But the one who brought us here
Is never gonna leave us alone


For addicts, the correlation is clear - they have to leave their old life and old friends behind if they want to be in recovery. This chorus returns to me in those moments of doubt and insecurity. I have to tell myself that I am in the place I'm supposed to be, I will learn what I need to learn, I will build competence in time. I have to close the door on the idea of going back to what was comfortable and embrace the new challenge. Some times that is a lot harder than others!

The Nicest Thing

Another journalling question from Cheaper by the Dozen.


What is the nicest thing someone has recently said to you? Why did the compliment matter?


After a day of meetings at my new job, a co-worker popped her head into the library and said, "I appreciate you."


I have no idea what prompted her to say it. I am always self-conscious after events like that one, afraid that I talked too much, feeling a little like an outsider still, wondering where I fit in. 


This is a woman I hold in high regard. She has scads of experience that she offers in a gracious, helpful way. She is a professional, taking her role - but not herself - seriously. She is organized. She follows and enforces the rules. She is classy. And she said she appreciates me.


I don't know if it was prompted by something I did or something I said or if it was just a general word of encouragement, but I really appreciated it.

Three Things

I follow a blogger who was posting journalling questions back in August. Over the next few weeks I'll be posting my responses to some of her questions. I'd love to hear your responses!


What are three things you would change about your life right now and why?


1) Dad would still be alive. I miss calling him and talking to him. He is missing a great chapter in my life and I would love to share it with him.


2) My husband and I would have maintained our healthier Weight Watcher's lifestyle from 5 years ago. I think we would both feel better if we had stayed with that.


3) I would have started my job a month sooner so I would have had more time to prepare and feel really ready. Right now I feel like I am a step or two - or twelve - behind when I'd like to be a step or two ahead.


So, what would you change? Post your list or a link to your list!