Unappreciation

There's all sorts of research out there that says when you praise kids, be sure to be specific. Highlight what you want to reinforce. Generic praise ("That was super") doesn't get the job done like specifics ("I really appreciated the way you picked that trash up in the parking lot today. It wasn't yours, and no one asked you to do it. You saw something that needed to be done, and you did it. That's classy.").

Specific. Details matter.

If you want your child or student to keep up a desirable behavior, praise it. Last week when I was cleaning tables in the school cafeteria, there were three boys still sitting at the table waiting for their teacher. There was a big, white napkin still sitting on the table as well as straw wrappers. I knew the trash wasn't theirs - these are boys who clean up their stuff - but the trash needed to be thrown away, and the kids are responsible to clean off their own tables. So I asked the boys to clean it up. Immediately, two of them protested: "But, that's not mine." The third reached over (he was the farthest from the mess, and therefore the least likely of the three to have left it) and picked the things up and threw them in the trash. I gave him 5 blessings (in simplest terms, positive "points" for good choices and good behavior). He stopped in his tracks. "Five? I've never been given that many at one time before."

"Attitude matters," I told him.

It wasn't his mess, but he cleaned it up and he did it with a good attitude. I wanted it contrast his choices with those of his friends. The attitude was more important to me than the clean up at that point. I was specific about what was praiseworthy; I hope it made an impact.

Last week I was on the receiving end of non-specific "appreciation." I'll give the individual the benefit of the doubt (which feels generous - I'm still quite frustrated over the whole thing) and say the intention was to make me feel appreciated and included, but the content of the message made it quite clear that the individual has no earthly idea what I do. Instead of making me feel warm and fuzzy about the appreciation, I felt wounded, angry and belittled.

Details matter. If you are going to reach out to someone in a genuine way, if you want someone to feel cared for or encouraged or loved, be sure you know what you are talking about. Be accurate. Be specific. Otherwise, instead of making something better, you just might make it worse.

Teacher Appreciation Wrap Up

Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week, and at our school, it was delightful.

Each classroom teacher has a parent liaison. Those "EPals" placed treats in our mail boxes every morning, gave us a gift card to our choice of several restaurants, and treated us to a special lunch.

I felt well cared for and appreciated by parents and students - sweet notes, sweet treats, book marks and the like. One of my students brought a different small treat (with clever, pun-y notes) every day. I really liked this idea - it spreads out the joy for the whole week.The notes from parents and students really mean a lot and I plan to keep them and cherish them.

Teacher Appreciation Week

It's National Teacher Appreciation Week. And today, Tuesday, is the day folks are supposed to use social media to give a shout out to teachers. The best shout out I can give this year is to my father.

He taught high school social studies for over 30 years for the same school. Many of my fondest childhood memories involve him in that role

• I remember drinking soda in a bottle from the vending machines in the basement of the school's original building.
  
• I remember walking through the underground tunnel between the school and the annex building behind it.
• I remember spending teacher work days with him in his classroom.
• I remember the New Year's Eve parties my parents would have at our house. Most of the guests were teachers. I loved those people.
• I remember a summer school class he was teaching when a student came up, hugged Dad, and then picked him up off the floor. Dad laughed.
• Another time in that same summer class, all the students threw paper wads at him in the middle of class. He laughed (and they cleaned up).
• As a kid, I got to play cribbage in the teacher's lounge with Dad and other teachers.
• I loved going to the school dances with him on Friday nights when I was 5 or 6.
• He sang in a quartet with the band, choir, and orchestra directors in the annual variety show. They called themselves the Golden Oldies. They would do two songs - one snappy one like Greased Lightening and then they would bring a female student up on stage and serenade her. It was the highlight of the show every year.
• I remember that anywhere we went, he would run into current or former students (or even his "hall people" - students he knew from joking with them in the hall between classes). They would shout to him from across the mall or stop to shake his hand and tell him what they were up to.

One redeeming thing about the week between Dad's death and his funeral were the messages from his students on the funeral home website and at the visitation. So many said he was their favorite teacher - that he made learning fun. And several said they went into teaching because of Dad. I was - and continue to be - proud to be his daughter. And I count myself among those students now. In many ways, I teach now because of him.

 

Honor a teacher this week.... And maybe a few other times a year, too!

New Respect for Teachers

I grew up the daughter of a public school teacher, and I loved it. My dad was a popular teacher in his high school and I loved being at school with him. What he did always looked so fun.


I don't remember him talking much about the tasks of teaching - the lesson planning, the grading, etc. I do remember when his school was switching to block scheduling and he was talking to teachers who already worked with that schedule to help him make the transition smoothly. I remember that he taught most summers in order to contribute extra money to the household budget and to help send me to college.


You hear a lot of complaints and controversy about teaching these days. Students are struggling and the country is looking for someone to blame. As teachers play such a significant role in the educational lives of students, they are the obvious target, even though there are many other factors - parents, home life, hunger, skill deficits, learning disabilities, etc. The schedule sounds cushy - summers off, holiday breaks. We forget the hours spent outside of the school day researching new ideas; grading papers; meeting with administrators, parents and colleagues; brainstorming how to help struggling students; planning differentiated lessons for a class of 25 students at varying levels of skill; etc. 


This is my first year teaching an almost full time schedule, and I have to tell you, I am exhausted. Even with the long weekends here and there and the holiday breaks, I am worn out. Since this is my first year, my lesson planning is largely from scratch. My compulsion for buying and providing new reading material for our school (to the joy of my students) means a lot of my Christmas break and many weekends are spent preparing books for library-level usage. I see my colleagues working day after day to make a difference in the lives of their students.  They stay late and come in early. They research and share ideas with one another. They throw themselves wholeheartedly into special programs designed to augment the curriculum and help their students. I am anticipating the summer break, not to rest and play for a couple months, but in order to do all the things I can't get done during the course of the regular school day.


I have a new respect for teachers who pour themselves into their calling and into the lives of their students day after day and year after year. If you have school-aged children, consider today how you can encourage their teachers - classroom and non-classroom - this spring. I'm sure they could use it.