Recently I spent a whole day in bed, sick. Other than school drop off and pick up and dinner with my family, I hung out in my bedroom. I did a few things on the laptop, took a couple nice naps, went through half a box of tissues... and read 3.5 books. It bothered me all day that I had a huge list of things to do, but I felt too crummy to do them. But I also couldn't just lay there.
I tried. My husband came home that afternoon from a business trip, and after we put our son to bed, we watched some TV while he got on the computer. For a couple minutes, I just rested my head on his shoulder, but I was restless. It felt like "wasted" time if there wasn't something I could accomplish or cross off a list. So I read a book.
Looking back I have to laugh at my inability to be idle. I guess I must have taken the admonition that "Idle hands are the devil's tools" too seriously at some point in my life. Usually this is an asset. I can get a lot of things done and I am pretty organized. I juggle projects well, for the most part. But there are moments when it can be too much of a good thing. Either I get so tired from juggling or so bored with my usual activities that I get burned out and have to set everything aside for a couple days to regroup (which makes me tense because I am not getting anything done).
In a perfect world, I would give myself a day of grace every week or so to do "nothing" - to be crafty, or veg out and watch a movie. But there is always something to be done, and I just can't help being the one to do it.
I have this problem too. Although, when I was sick this week, I did do nothing. I felt guilty about it, but I did nothing.
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