Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Missing Christmas

If you had talked to me a month ago, I would have told you that I was crazy-excited for Christmas. I could not wait for December to get here and to get the holiday preparations started.

Now that December is here, I wonder if I peaked too soon. I've lost my enthusiasm. Lord knows I could blame it on a lot of things - the sale of Dad's house (which did go through. My joy lasted exactly 5 seconds before the tears started. I was not as happy when it was done as I thought I would be), anticipating Christmas and my birthday without Dad... You get the idea. But I am not conscious of any of those things yet. Now that the house is sold, that issue is done. The other two haven't arrived yet. I can only imagine how I will feel when they actually get here.

All I know for now is that we are two weeks into Advent and up until this weekend, we had no plans to put up a tree. I even tried to talk my husband into buying a metal one we could hang ornaments on and call it good. (He said no.)

I think part of our hesitation is that no one was looking forward to pulling out our old artificial tree. We tried to find a new one, but had no luck. Then we stopped by Lowe's on Saturday. When we were done, we had a live Christmas tree in our trunk. We have never had a live tree before. That seemed to help us kick start the season. At least now we have a tree and some lights. We'll see how much farther we go and if it brings back the festive feelings or not. This may just be an "off" year for Christmas.

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