About a month ago I was asked to do the congregational prayer at church for this past Sunday. I always say yes when I am asked but I am starting to question that practice.
I am comfortable speaking in front of the church, even when I have to do something off the cuff. But the last two times I have done this prayer, the writing of the prayer itself has been the worst chore imaginable. I feel like I always bring the downer prayer. I feel like I have to write this epic work that is going to sound beautiful. Even when I try to write something completely from my heart, it feels wrong. Either I'm trying too hard to impress folks or I'm too narrowly-focused on my own needs and experiences.
All day Saturday - as I did any other task but writing this prayer - I wondered what I was going to do. I started to think it might be a good plan to just string the words of songs together and hope no one really noticed! When I'm stressed, I can be too sassy for my own good.
Each word, each sentence is dragged out of me. I'm typing this up Saturday night to post Tuesday and I have never felt less prepared. It will be hard to get up tomorrow morning to do this. And I will be relieved when it is finished.
Jaymie, It must have been from your heart because my heart felt as though it was in the presence of God. Kris
ReplyDeleteBut it was exactly what we needed to hear and sometimes we simply have to push through the chores not only for the benefit of others, but for ourselves. Sometimes we need relieve ourselves of the burden of trying to go it alone . . .and allow the body to carry us forward. We can't be a comforter if we don't know there is a need. You spoke from your heart and from that place that still needs healing and I for one was touched. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, friends.
ReplyDelete