This past Sunday, I woke up far earlier than necessary - something that has happened on the weekends much too often lately. As I lay there, willing myself to go back to sleep, I started praying about various things. Then my mind wandered to all the things I had to do this week at school before the kids finished up for the year and all the things I wanted to get done this summer. In that moment I realized I hadn't once prayed about my priorities for the summer. I knew I had more tasks than time, even if I worked every day of summer break. I also knew I didn't want to work every day of summer break. But it hadn't occurred to me to pray about those tasks.
This past Sunday was also the celebration of Pentecost - the day in the early Church when the Holy Spirit was poured out and many were converted. Some time before this, when the risen Christ was still with them, Jesus told his disciples not to run off after he was gone, moving in their own power to fulfill their calling. Instead, he told them to wait and pray because God was going to send them help - power - for the tasks ahead.
Specifically, Jesus said, "Wait and pray."
Hmmmm. Wait. And pray. Same message, twice in one day - in the span of just a few hours. When that happens, I try to pay attention.
So fair, in my waiting and praying, I have determined that there is one project I was going to start this week that will move forward. Nothing else is scheduled for sure. I started a list of all the things I know I need to do, all the ideas I wanted to do, and the things I would like to get done.
It's a ridiculously long list. I felt the panic building as I wrote it all down in one place and really started looking at it. I started to feel like this was my life:
I don't know how it's all going to come out in the end. There really isn't anything "frivolous" on the list. But I feel better knowing that I don't have to figure it all out on my own.