In my last two posts I have talked about how I've been fighting anxiety this summer, and last time I shared about two techniques that I tried that seem to be helping. I'm also trying one other thing that could be a key to a variety of emotional strains - the anxiety, frequent feelings of being overwhelmed, setting unrealistic expectations and disappointment when I can't meet those expectations.
I am trying to focus on ONE - one thing at a time. I have so many passions and projects and ideas and interests, I can easily be paralyzed by so many choices. Not only am I wondering what I should do next - work or read or crafts - but then there are the myriad of choices within each choice. It's ridiculous.
It would be easy to say that I should just NOT be that person, but it is too much a part of my pattern, a part of who I've been for a long time. It's hard to turn that part of me off.
So I started focusing on just the next choice. Not my next five books, but the ONE I'm going to read right now. I ask myself, "If I can only read one more book this summer (or month or whatever), what is the ONE I want to read?" When I want to be crafty, I ask "What is the ONE project that captures my interest right now?" rather than listing every option I have in the house over and over, wondering what to choose, until my crafting time has disappeared.
When this summer started, I had a list of books I was going to read. Even though I read over 100 books on my break from school, only a few items got crossed off my master list, leaving me feeling like I failed in some way. But if I focus on today and on ONE thing - the right-now thing - maybe I can step out from under the pressure I put on myself. Sure, I'll still make lists. They help me organize my thoughts and prioritize and not forget things. But hopefully I can then choose the ONE next thing and set the rest of the list aside for awhile.
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Punching and Prayer
I've tried two things to help with my anxiety (see previous post) that seem to be working.
1) Punching - In Jon Acuff's book Start, he talks about "punching fear in the face." He advises writing down the things fear says to you when you think about or start trying to make changes in your life. Fear usually says things like, "That will never work" or "It's too late for you to make this change." After you've identified the fears, Jon says to refute them, in detail. So I tried that with my anxiety. Since I knew what I was worried about, I then asked myself:
Each situation I applied this to started to seem less scary and more manageable.
2) Prayer - I found this resource about anxiety online. But instead of reading the verses over and over, I decided to write them out in my own words and direct them at my specific circumstances. I only got through two verses - both re-writing and also some drawing to go with my thoughts - but I felt SO much better. Just from those two verses. And every time I have gone back to re-read those two verses, I have felt affirmed and at peace.
Will my anxiety return?
YES. Worry is too much of a habit for me at this point.
But I feel more equipped today than I did a week ago to address my fears and anxiety so it does not grow to control and consume me.
1) Punching - In Jon Acuff's book Start, he talks about "punching fear in the face." He advises writing down the things fear says to you when you think about or start trying to make changes in your life. Fear usually says things like, "That will never work" or "It's too late for you to make this change." After you've identified the fears, Jon says to refute them, in detail. So I tried that with my anxiety. Since I knew what I was worried about, I then asked myself:
"What's the worst that could possibly happen in this situation?"
"How likely is this worst case scenario?"
"What supports and resources do I have if the worst actually does happen?"
"What are my options?"
Each situation I applied this to started to seem less scary and more manageable.
2) Prayer - I found this resource about anxiety online. But instead of reading the verses over and over, I decided to write them out in my own words and direct them at my specific circumstances. I only got through two verses - both re-writing and also some drawing to go with my thoughts - but I felt SO much better. Just from those two verses. And every time I have gone back to re-read those two verses, I have felt affirmed and at peace.
Will my anxiety return?
YES. Worry is too much of a habit for me at this point.
But I feel more equipped today than I did a week ago to address my fears and anxiety so it does not grow to control and consume me.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Anxiety Sucks
This has been an anxious summer for me. I'm not sure if this is a new development or if I have just kept myself so manically busy these last couple years that I didn't have time to be anxious.
The anxiety isn't to a level where I feel like I need medication or therapy. It's been like a blanket draped over my lap - I'm aware it's there, but I can forget about it, too. When I notice it, I feel the gnawing in my stomach and the dread in my chest. For the most part, I can name the causes, although I have had some weird dreams this summer (almost all set at school) that have been hard to place.
The frustrating thing is that I haven't found a good technique for combating the anxiety other than naming it, journalling about it and waiting it out. I prefer to be more proactive than that.
I am going to spend some time in scripture, looking for some guiding principles. This time of year is too busy to not feel my best.
The anxiety isn't to a level where I feel like I need medication or therapy. It's been like a blanket draped over my lap - I'm aware it's there, but I can forget about it, too. When I notice it, I feel the gnawing in my stomach and the dread in my chest. For the most part, I can name the causes, although I have had some weird dreams this summer (almost all set at school) that have been hard to place.
The frustrating thing is that I haven't found a good technique for combating the anxiety other than naming it, journalling about it and waiting it out. I prefer to be more proactive than that.
I am going to spend some time in scripture, looking for some guiding principles. This time of year is too busy to not feel my best.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The End is Near
I have less than three weeks left of summer vacation.
How did that happen?
Where did my summer go?
And I am looking at those remaining days being very busy.... with stuff for school. In truth, my summer vacation is over. There may be moments spent away from school, but my brain has turned that direction and an urgency has settled in. I need to put up two bulletin boards, come up with a plan for what I am teaching this year and when, and I need to finish up all the re-organizational projects I started this summer.
On top of these tasks, I have noticed some anxiety kicking in.
Now, if it were anxiety about whether or not I can get all these things done before school starts, I would understand. But it's about the teaching. How did I do this last year? Can I do it again? How did I juggle home and school? How did I allocate my time? It's like I've never done this before.
I am hoping that this is just second-year jitters and everything will fall into place once I have a schedule and students start rolling in....
I will be blogging as usual this week, but then I am going to do some different sorts of posts to get me through this transitional season of school starting. I'll be around. If some posts start to roam through my head, I may post some extras. And I'll be back to my usual musings once the school year is going strong.
How did that happen?
Where did my summer go?
And I am looking at those remaining days being very busy.... with stuff for school. In truth, my summer vacation is over. There may be moments spent away from school, but my brain has turned that direction and an urgency has settled in. I need to put up two bulletin boards, come up with a plan for what I am teaching this year and when, and I need to finish up all the re-organizational projects I started this summer.
On top of these tasks, I have noticed some anxiety kicking in.
Now, if it were anxiety about whether or not I can get all these things done before school starts, I would understand. But it's about the teaching. How did I do this last year? Can I do it again? How did I juggle home and school? How did I allocate my time? It's like I've never done this before.
I am hoping that this is just second-year jitters and everything will fall into place once I have a schedule and students start rolling in....
I will be blogging as usual this week, but then I am going to do some different sorts of posts to get me through this transitional season of school starting. I'll be around. If some posts start to roam through my head, I may post some extras. And I'll be back to my usual musings once the school year is going strong.
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